


these shallow waters never met

by oceanicspirit



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dreams vs. Reality, F/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, i seriously don't know how to tag this fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2018-12-23 14:43:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11991888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceanicspirit/pseuds/oceanicspirit
Summary: Every touch, every smile, every laughter, and every kisses…. were they all just fake? Like some sort of illusion? That a person that he truly love never actually existed?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo guess who decided to start on a new fic? Anyways this is an idea that's been kind of pecking at my brain and I will be updating this one a lot because I'm just so in love with the concept
> 
> Anyways it was based on an edit that I did: http://sassaspazz.tumblr.com/post/162728575382/you-were-the-shadow-to-my-light-did-you-feel-us
> 
> Disclaimer: I claim no ownership of any Marvel characters used

_You were the shadow to my light_  
 _Did you feel us?_  
 _Another star_  
 _You fade away_  
 _Afraid our aim is out of sight_  
 _Wanna see us_  
 _Alight_  
  
_Where are you now?_  
 _Where are you now?_  
 _Where are you now?_  
 _Was it all in my fantasy?_  
 _Where are you now?_  
 _Were you only imaginary?_

*****

Could it be possible that someone could exist one day and then disappear the next? Was it ever possible to conjure up a fantasy so _vivid_ and so _realistic_ that it actually seemed real?

Every kiss

Every touch

Every breathe

Every smile

Were they all just a fantasy that his artistic brain could have just conjured up? That his gorgeous redheaded lover was nothing more than just imaginary? But that couldn’t be right…. She was _real_ and he knew it. The feel of her body pressed against his own was…. _warm_ . That her scent filled his senses and alight the desire within him. Her angelic voice sounded like music to his ears. He knew it, deep down inside that she existed. She _had_ to.

*****

_“It feels like a dream.”_

_She opens her eyes and smiles at him. “Why?”_

_He reaches out, for those red locks and tugs it playfully, “This is too good to be true.”_

_She sits up, allowing the covers to fall and reveal her supple breasts. Her own hand reaches out to stroke his cheek. “Maybe that’s why it’s real. This is real.” She motions Steve to sit up and brings his hand to her chest, right above her heart. “_ That _is real.”_

*****

He closes his eyes, remembering the sound of her heartbeat. The melodic sound it gives and the wonderful vibrations it sends through his hand.

*****

_“My heart,” she places her own hand on top of his own, “you’re heart.” Together they inhale and exhale, listening to their breathing sync and then… their own hearts as well. “They are both real.”_

_He reaches for her face with his other hand and leans down, kissing her softly until it turns hurriedly and hungry. She’s on her back and his body on top of hers. His hands mesmerizing every inch and curve of her body. His hand stops upon the scar on her hip and gently strokes it._

_“Steve,” she breathes against his lips, “please.”_

_They moan in unison as he enters her. Their bodies molding against one another so perfectly, like missing puzzle pieces._

_“If this is a dream,” he whispers against her ear, “if this is a dream then I don’t want to wake up.”_

_“Then don’t,” she moans as he thrusts against her, “don’t wake up my darling heart. Stay with me always.”_

_“Always,” he answers back._

*****

He gasps and finds himself opening his eyes. Steve buries his face into his hands, he doesn’t understand. Doesn’t understand anything because it just doesn’t make _sense_ . She was real. She _is_ real. He knows it, deep down within his heart, she is real. Her heartbeat _is_ real. Her love for him _is_ real. He looks up at the drawing he’s done, his hand reaches for it and gently caresses the scar on the woman’s hip. It’s well detailed because he’s touched that scar numerous times.

His head is gently resting against the picture, slowly he inhales and exhales. “I know you’re real. Deep down in my heart you’re real... _Natasha_.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He knows that people talk about him behind his back - the words they say and yet he keeps choosing to ignore them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was hoping to roll this chapter out a bit quicker but alas life got to me and I'm rewatching a series
> 
> Anways I'm hoping NOT to make Sharon seem like a complete bitch here.

_ They keep telling him that she isn’t real _

_ That there is no such woman with the name Natasha Romanoff or Natalia Romanov _

_ She doesn’t exist _

_ They keep telling him that he needs to let her go _

_ It isn’t healthy to cling onto an imaginary person _

_ He can’t help but ignore the pitiful glances he’s given _

_ They call him delusional _

_ That he’s gone mad _

Steve ignores all the things they’ve called him, he knows he felt, what he’s seen, touch and tasted. His heart knows that his lover is real because the love they have for one another is  _ real _ . His mother had taught him to always listen to his heart because it would never lie to him. Steve knew his heart ached for the woman he so desperately wanted beside him. It felt like forever since he held her, heard her laugh, and made love to. 

_ How could a person, that you could recall every curve of their body, be just an imagination? _

There are times that Steve wants to yell at people saying that his Natasha isn’t real. Then there are times he hates that people are taking pity on him and saying that he should get help. Of course there are those who are angry at him. 

He let’s out a small sigh as he finishes the sketch for a portrait that he’ll be painting for Tony’s charity. Steve had become a well known artist to the point where some of his paintings have been hung in art museums. Though thanks to the money he got from the army and the income he was getting from his paintings, he was able to live a comfortable live. Despite living in a penthouse, he kept his Harley motorcycle that he fixed during his sophomore year of high school but now owned a Ford truck. Of course Steve had refused to show off the fact that he was living a comfortable life, not wanting to wear any expensive casual suits or drive in a foreign sports car. Not many knew him as a famous artist or a war hero - which he was  _ very  _ grateful for. 

Getting up, he walking out of his art room and into the living room, continued to walk until he saw the park from the view of his penthouse window. Closing his eyes, he felt himself relax as he placed a hand on the window panel. Memories flooding.

*****

_ She gasped as he took her from behind.  _

_ “Look at us Natasha,” he whispered against her neck, “look at us love,” this time he took her chin and forced her to look. _

_ Another gasp escaped her lips as she saw their reflection. The love and desire they had for one another - showing in their eyes. She watched as her body moved against his own. How well they reacted to each other’s touches.  _

_ “So beautiful for me love.” _

_ “Steve,” she moaned as she reached back and her hand gripping his hair. “Love me, love me always.” _

_ “Of course, you’ll have my heart always.” _

_ She told him to watch and he did. His blue eyes burning as he watched them come undone together. _

*****

He felt himself snap back to reality as he heard a knock on the door. 

“I’m coming,” he said as another knock was heard. His eyes widened in surprised as who was behind the door. “S-Sharon, what are you doing here?”

“I just came to check up on you,” the blonde smiled, “can I come in?”

“Uh yeah… sure.” Steve stepped aside and allowed her to come in. “So beside checking up on me, what other business do you have,” he asked as he crossed his arms.

“You know it’s not too late Steve.”

“Sharon,” he sighed, “ _ please _ don’t.”

“You know how hard it was for me? To make up some bullshit excuse as to why we broke up our engagement? You were lucky that a lot of people took the excuse because of what happened to you. But there are others that  _ know _ the truth Steve. We’re lucky enough they aren’t saying anything.”

“Yeah we are,” he growled, “because they think I’m delusional or the accident fucked my head up more than what was shown on the CAT scans. I know Sharon, I’m not stupid.”

“Yes you are,” she poked his chest, “you broke up this engagement because of some imaginary woman.”

“She isn’t imaginary, she’s  _ real _ . Just as you and I are real. I know she is.”

Sharon shook her head and took a step back before crossing her arms. “Then tell me why she doesn’t  _ exist _ . Why there’s no records of this woman anywhere Steve?”

“I don’t know Sharon, but she does exist. My mother told me my heart would never lie to me.”

The blonde snorted, “Yeah but I’m sure your cock wouldn’t care.”

Steve balled his hands into a fist. “How dare you say that!” The woman flinched at his harsh tone. “How dare you say that I only lusted for her! I loved her with all my heart, more than anything. What I felt for her is something I have never felt before, not even with you.”

Sharon bit her lip and lowered her head. “I’m sorry Steve, I’m just worried for you and what other people are saying. I just don’t want you to get sent to a mental hospital.”

“I can take care of myself Sharon, you don’t need to worry about me.”

“But don’t you care what other people are saying?” Her hands started to ball into a tight fist. “They say you’re mad! That you’ve gone crazy!”

“I don’t care what they say, I never gave a shit what anyone said to me. Even back when I was a scrawny kid, I didn’t care, I never let it get to me.” Steve let out a sigh, he was tired -  _ exhausted _ , he wanted nothing more to be left alone. “I’m tired Sharon, if you have nothing else to say, then leave.”

“My offer still stands Steve. We don’t have to truly love each other. I…I just want to protect you.”

His eyes softened and pulled her in for a hug, “Thank you Sharon, but I can’t marry someone if it’s not for love. Even if your intentions are good, I just can’t, and I’m sorry.”

The blonde let out a sigh and hugged the man back, “I’m here for you if you ever need me.”

“Thank you Sharon,” he let her out before walking towards the window and looking outside.

He understood that Sharon wanted to protect him, after he started shouting out that Natasha was real, everyone grew concerned for him. They all say that it was the accident that made him spew such false accusations that Natasha was real. While others claimed that he was doing it for attention and that he was  _ really _ crazy. Steve’s real close friends tried to understand what he was saying, they all wanted to believe that the woman in his dreams was real. It didn’t matter if he knew Tony Stark, it still didn’t protect him from the rumors saying he was mad and needed help. Mainly everyone didn’t stand why he would break up his engagement with a beautiful and powerful woman such as Sharon Carter. People believed that he only cared about money, but that wasn’t true. Sharon tried to change his mind, she didn’t mind if he didn’t love her and she just wanted to protect him from the world, but Steve couldn’t take the offer.

*****

_ He gazed at her sleeping form with pure love in his eyes. His heart always ached every time they were away from one another. She was his other half and his soulmate. _

_ ‘One day,” he thought, ‘one day I’m going to propose to you.’ _

_ He smiled at how beautiful his mother’s old engagement ring would look on Natasha’s finger. His heart yearned to see the gorgeous redhead in a wedding gown.  _

_ “You’re a pervert,” she mumbled. _

_ Steve just chuckled, “How so?” _

_ “Perverts watch people while they sleep,” she sat up and watched the blankets fall, showing his dark blue dress shirt on her. “So you’re definitely a pervert.” _

_ “And you’re beautiful.” _

_ She blushed, “No I’m not, I’m a mess.” _

_ He got up from his chair and walked over to her, kneeling in front of her and placing a hand on her cheek. “You’ll always be gorgeous to me, my love, a true goddess in my eyes.” He took her right leg and held it up, kissing the inside of her leg. _

_ “Steve,” she moaned as he was inching closer to her dripping core. “You’re a goddamn tease.” _

_ “You know it.” _

*****

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small red velvet box, opening it revealed a beautiful yet simple engagement ring. He took out the ring and kissed the small diamond on it. 

“Wherever you, I’ll find you Natasha. My heart’s own. I promise to find you.” 


End file.
